Running Diary, Week Twelve: Feeling like a big bag of garbage
I know what you’re thinking and this week’s post isn’t an excuse post. I’m not trying to sell you on the idea that I’m too busy and tired to run, rather I’m here to confirm what we all know: exercise is amazing.
I used to exercise religiously, five or six times a week, doing a combination of boot camp, yoga, pilate, and barre classes and the results were evident, less so in my physique and more in my energy and mood. I felt more energetic, less irritable and somehow my emotions felt more controlled as well. Exercise could puncture my stress, sadness, and anxiety and became something I both loved and needed. However, in preparing for our move from my parents’ place to our current condo, sometime in the last little while I sacrificed my “me” time aka going to the gym in favour of (un)packing boxes, lawyers/banking appointment, and just settling in. As I worked out less, I began to notice subtle shifts in my energy and attitude, and though the changes were small at first, over time I started becoming lazy and with that, also tired.
Of course I understand that I’m older and now have more responsibilities but there’s no way that I should feel this different in my body. Lately with all the changes in my life I feel wiped when I get home and it’s nearly impossible to get me to leave my place once I’ve gotten back. This would have never been the case before and I always made it a point to do something physical, no matter how minor. Now, even though there’s a gym in my condo I rarely use it because it’s cramped and always full, so rather than rely on the studios I’ve become so familiar with, I opt to “take it easy”. Fortunately things are starting to turn around and working with a goal in mind has also beneficial, encouraging me to get out on evenings when I want nothing other than to melt into my sofa. We’re about a month away from the Terry Fox Run (where did summer go!?!?) and as a goal-oriented person, always in pursuit of the carrot I guess you could say, I’m starting to figure out my next goal. This one is less tangible and concrete but what I now seek is to regain my love for exercise and focus on increasing my energy levels again because honestly, I’ve never felt more unlike myself.