Grief is the price we pay for love. – Queen Elizabeth II
Last Friday signalled six months since we lost our dad and both Annette and my brother came home for the weekend to mark the occasion. Things aren’t really any easier than they were half a year ago because now we have a new set of emotions we’re experiencing. Not everything is sad but I have to admit that there are mornings where I lack motivation to even get out of bed. It helps when I have things on the go, activities to keep me busy and occupied, something to distract. Lately I’ve had more good days than bad but there are still a few tough mornings that manage to find their way in.
I THINK I’m fortunate that I have all these things that keep me going but at the same time I am concerned that these tasks and jobs I create for myself are part of a coping mechanism much like this burying my head in the sand. I realize that despite all this writing and talking I’m doing, I’m still not addressing my deepest issues but I don’t know how to change that. However, life continues and things are changing so I suppose all I can do is keep up with the process. The only thing that I know for certain is that I’m still not over this loss and for awhile I felt guilty about this. Why can’t I get over things? Then today, it’s as if the universe (finally) heard my voice and my cousin posted this very moving and heartfelt article from a few years ago and that suddenly made me feel different, lifting the sense of guilt from my shoulders.
As usual, my Monday posts are meant to be helpful and perhaps slightly instructive, so today’s message is simple: let it go, or don’t but never feel guilty for your choice.